Motherhood is a wild, beautiful mess. We’re all just winging it, facing challenges, yet finding many moments of happiness along the way. On the days when you feel like a superhuman mom who has it all figured out, brace yourself—our little ones always have a different agenda up their sleeves. It’s a messy path of endurance, love, and unexpected turns that, even when hard to believe, turns into something more beautiful than you could ever imagine for yourself. We’re all just taking it one step at a time, even through the burnouts of motherhood.
Real Raw Moments
Behind closed doors, I’ve had countless tears, desperately needing a break from the relentless “Mommy, Mom, Mommy!” That’s when I knew—I was deep in the trenches of mom burnout. Recognizing the need for a moment to myself was my first step toward finding balance and avoiding that burnout (as much as possible!). As moms, we are resilient and always working ourselves to the brink, but repeat after me – “I am only human and as a person, I deserve time for myself too.” That lesson was the BIGGEST lesson to overcome and teach myself.
The Reality of Mom Burnout
Defining the Experience: Mom burnout is a real and common aspect of motherhood, especially pronounced in the postpartum period. It’s that feeling of running on empty, catering to every need of your family, overstimulated by constant noise and always being touched. Remember, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re definitely not alone. It’s a constant tug of war between doing things for yourself, your kids, or your home and everything else when the kids finally let you have a second.
What Has Worked For Me: Carving out time in the morning for an extra 1 hour; going to bed 1 hour earlier and having some ‘me’ time in the AM, has helped me feel less overwhelmed throughout the long days at home. I’m a morning person vs. a night owl, so if you are more a night owl than I am, try the reverse! Leave an hour at the end of the night that is solely for you.
Acknowledging the Overwhelm: At my peak—juggling a bustling business, a teaching career, a marriage, and three little ones under the age of five—I realized I couldn’t do it all, as badly as I wanted to. I broke down, half crying, half laughing from exhaustion, knowing something had to change. The demand of motherhood, paired with my other responsibilities, meant that adjustments were essential to preserve both my sanity and our family harmony.
Being Funny is a Coping Mechanism—Literally
Laughter as ACTUAL Medicine: My husband, Phil, and I have found that humor is our best tool in navigating the chaos of parenting. Those “over the kid’s heads” jokes or mutual looks during our parenting mishaps help us keep our cool; life doesn’t always need to be that serious. Get the HELL out of your head and into the moment sometimes.
Light-Hearted Stories: Recently, a playful moment between Phil and our oldest with a basketball turned into an unexpected laugh fest. Our son, calling his dad an “idiot” with a mischievous grin, left us in stitches. I looked at Phil, died of laughter, and said, “there was so much wrong with that, I don’t even know where to begin.” Moments like these, where we can just laugh off the stress, are so freaking CRUCIAL. It helps us in navigating parenting and keeping our calm during tough moments.
Self-Care: Not Just a Buzzword, I Promise!
My Self-Care Routine: Up until a year ago, self-care was a foreign concept to me. Guilt had prevented me from taking necessary breaks. Now, I prioritize early mornings alone, taking moments to myself when needed, and ensuring Phil and I support each other in taking these vital breathers throughout the day.
What Has Worked for Us: We have found that openly communicating the need for a break alone, whether it’s a drive to get coffee and out of the house, 20 minutes alone, locked away upstairs, is so incredibly crucial to supporting one another. Parenting can overwhelm you in the blink of an eye. One second you’re fine and the next you’re wildly overstimulated. It took us a moment to get comfortable asking for this without guilt and also a moment to understand that the other person needs to pick things up 100% for the time being. But once we got into the habit, it changed everything!
Encouraging Self-Care for Moms: It’s crucial to find what works for you, whether it’s a quiet morning coffee before the kids wake up or a night out with friends. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. Get a babysitter, ask a friend (or your spouse! we’ve accepted we’re in a season where we both don’t always get to partake in the same nights out anymore), regardless, get out and about into the world to feel normal. Finding your own identity will make for a happier life overall. Building a support system with other moms can be incredibly empowering. Whether it’s sharing tips, venting frustrations, or just having a laugh, leaning on one another helps prevent burnout. If you’re shy about reaching out, just remember that many other moms feel exactly the same way you do. A simple “hello” can lead to a lasting and supportive friendship.
‘Me Time’ – Running Errands and Kicking Ass
Simple Pleasures: Even stupid simple tasks like running errands (child free, of course!) can be refreshing for the soul. Checking off tasks and treating myself to a decaf caramel macchiato and a croissant during these moments helps me recharge. It also helps me feel productive and accomplished to have small tasks taken care of.
Striking the Right Balance
My Approach to Balance: Balancing work, motherhood, and personal time is an ongoing thing. Some days, work takes priority; other days, it’s all about the kids. Some days I feel productive and ready to tackle mounds of work and then my kids are needing my attention more than I anticipated- so they take over my priority. It’s about finding what works for you and giving yourself SO MUCH grace when things don’t go as planned.
Tips for Achieving Balance: Organizing my week ahead and maintaining a visual calendar helps manage the chaos. It’s about creating a routine that allows flexibility but provides structure. I make sure to get things in my flow, but I’m not afraid to adjust when it feels needed. Try it- don’t be afraid to take some time to find what balance means for you; we are all just adapting and figuring it out.
The Power of Perspective
Shifting Perspectives: Changing how you view challenging situations can significantly lighten your emotional load. When you make the choice to go from any other emotion to happiness, it’s a powerful life tool. It’s easy to get caught in the small things and let them overrun your entire life, but let things happen, take things as they come, and plan for what is REASONABLE.
When I find myself becoming overwhelmed and overstimulated throughout the day, despite how much my to-do list is calling my name, those are signs that I need to take a breather. I immediately have to step away from everything, my phone, my computer, the chores around the house, and just sit, breathe, and reground my emotions.
Celebrating the Journey
Reflecting on the growth and resilience developed through mom burnout is empowering. Every challenge faced is a step towards a stronger, more capable you. I invite y’all to share your own stories of dealing with burnout and how you find balance and space for you within motherhood. Join me for more honest talks and updates on new blog posts—let’s support each other and grow together!
