As we round the final weeks of our final pregnancy, I must admit: I am quite proud of my body. Not just for growing and carrying four of the most incredible beings, but especially this time around- for doing so on it’s own!
Past Pregnancies
As I’ve shared before, our first pregnancy resulted in a 32-week preemie babe, who is now a healthy growing 6-year old. You’d never even know it. That labor was spontaneous- no known cause or reason as to why he choose to arrive as soon as he did. But boy, I am grateful to have known him eight weeks longer in his life.
My next two pregnancies, I was assisted with weekly shots- the only medication on the market known to help prevent preterm labor. Much like an epipen injection with a burning aftermath, I got them weekly from 16 weeks to 36 weeks. Our next two babes made it full term: Taylor was born at 38 weeks + 2 days and Colton was born at 37 weeks on the dot.
Anxieties Walking into This Pregnancy
When we went for our initial 8 week appointment with this pregnancy, I was hit with anxiety inducing news. Since our previous pregnancy in 2021, the FDA had pulled my medication off the market with no replacements. Essentially, which I whole heartedly agree with, there is no way to determine if it was the medication or my body that carried my previous pregnancies to term. The medication was determined to be no more than a placebo effect.
To say I was anxious is an understatement! Emotionally and mentally, I could prepare for another NICU stay should this baby be born preterm. We’d done it once before, we would know what to expect. But what we hadn’t done was a stay with other kids at home. How would we balance our time? How would we give attention to both places? Would the kids understand?
I’d be lying if I said I trusted my body to do it. I was terrified.
Thankfully, by the grace of God, as long as all goes healthy and well- we won’t have another NICU stay. My body has managed to carry this baby to 38 weeks, ON IT’S OWN. With no assistance. And for that- I am damn proud.
Women Do Have Super Powers
But I guess it has been my body this entire time. Who will ever know. But regardless, women have fucking super powers. The damage our body goes through, the strength that is needed- emotionally, mentally, and physically, the constant state of fight we live in- I am in awe of us.
Every part of womanhood is a unique journey that cannot be compared to the person standing next to us. Making the decision to forego having children to desiring that life: from complications in conception, difficulties carrying, appointment scares every time you turn around, challenges during birth, and the fourth trimester: recovering, raising babies, or saying “see you soon” all too soon- no part of anyone’s journey is “easy”. And I am damn proud of every woman in every single way for having the strength to go through it all! Be gentle on yourself. Be gentle on others. We’re all in this together 🤍.
