Yesterday, my toddler chose…

Colton is our rambunctious, high energy, absolutely no-chill, doesn’t listen for shit, two-year old. And I’ll be honest, it is quite possibly my fault (okay, I know it is…). His bright blue eyes, sweet little voice, and head of blonde curls gets me every time.

But there are certainly moments that he tests the hell out of me and my patience. I know all of you Mama’s out there in the trenches of the two’s can absolutely relate with what I’m about to say. Yesterday, the agenda this child woke up with, out of all the choices in the world: sweet, calm, rational…he chose asshole.

I said what I said. By 8:47am, him and I had had enough of one another. Running around the house, ass naked, refusing to put his pants on with 17 minutes to spare until school drop-off. It’s like they know exactly when to make the routine go haywire to test every last second of patience in your soul.

And the day just continued in such a fashion. A box of teddy grahams across the floor (because how dare I tell my child he must eat a wholesome breakfast and not a box of chocolate graham crackers!). A bruised older brother- pinched him right in the sweet spot under the arm…why? For a cup. The fun “picnic” dinner that I set up to keep them entertained and out of my hair for 20 minutes, why wouldn’t he scream over which dinner tray he got (the choices were clear plastic or white- who knew those colors were in such high demand). The list goes on…

But man, his 87 high-pitched, wide mouthed smile, little “sorry Mommy”‘s really sure do make up for it. So between that and his blue eyes and blonde curls, and because of my inability to not cave into his every demand of me, he will likely continue to choose asshole. And for now, I’m okay with that. I mean, what the hell else is toddlerhood anyways?