Don’t we just love our 20’s? It’s the time in our lives where we feel like everyone around us is doing better, looks better, and simply has it all figured out. But the reality is, everyone is having the exact same thought and the comparison game IS STRONG. Now throw in becoming a Mother and/or a Business Owner and forget about it! You’re suddenly questioning your every move!
Why can’t I get my child to sleep through the night like hers?
I’ll never get my business to that level.
Breastfeeding vs. Formula feeding– don’t even get me started on that one.
My work will never look as good as so-and-so’s.
And then all of your insecurities come to light. You begin looking for validation all around you: needing others to tell you how great of a job your doing, instead of simply trusting yourself. Sound familiar?
Controlling the Struggle
The biggest advice I can give anyone struggling with comparison, finding themselves, or “imposter syndrome” is this…focus on YOU. The more you focus on watching others around you, the less you are focusing on yourself. So naturally, the comparison sets in.
The early days in my business, I suffered from “imposter syndrome” to the max. I was constantly comparing my work to other artists, comparing my life’s timeline to everyone else, and self-doubt was running wild. By year two, I realized I would be miserable continuing to pour into a business with these feelings. So I begin shifting my entire mindset. I watched not only my personal confidence, but my business, soar the moment I zeroed in on myself. I began viewing everything and everyone around me as inspiration versus a comparative. And used every moment of doubt as an opportunity to challenge myself and grow.
Switching Your Mindset
The sooner you work on switching your mindset and changing those comparative thoughts, the quicker you will find that your success and happiness is determined entirely by you and nobody else.
So let’s change them!
I’ll never have a business as successful as that. –> I’m inspired. If she can do it, I can do that, too.
I’ll never get my son to eat as healthy as theirs. –> Maybe I’ll try her strategy. But ultimately, what works for us, works for us. And what works for them, works for them. And that’s okay.
My work will never look like that! –> My work looks like my own and my clients love it- that’s why they keep coming back!
I hate constantly hearing about their success. –> I’m going to listen to their success stories to help me find the path to mine.
I wanted what they have, but now I can’t because they have it. –> There’s room for everyone in success, so if they can do it, that’s proof I can, too.
Choosing Happiness
It’s as simple as that: happiness is an internal choice. If you are looking for reasons outside of yourself for happiness, you will never find it. Seeking other’s validation and support is never going to bring you happiness- it’s only going to be detrimental and further knock your confidence, especially when the validation you are seeking isn’t coming through.
“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.” –Maya Angelou
Running the opposite direction of other’s success, flooding your thoughts with jealousy, comparison, and insecurities, is so harmful to yourself. Shift your mindset, run full force towards the successful people around you, find the inspiration from them that you need to get moving on your journey. And ditch the self-doubt and embrace YOU entirely.
Embracing You Unapologetically
When you choose happiness, there will always be people who dislike you for choosing it. Simply because they haven’t yet figured out how to choose it for themselves. Continuing choosing it anyways. Stay loud and proud in your accomplishments. Root for yourself so everyone can hear you. And do not for one second feel sorry for doing so. You are your own loudest cheerleader and biggest motivator. Embrace yourself unapologetically and watch how many people you inspire just by being YOU.
“Never dim your light to make others comfortable. Let your brilliance blind them with inspiration!”
